Have You Heard? How to Stop Office Gossip

If you've been the victim of office gossip, you know it can be both cruel and destructive. Such malicious gossip has shattered many people's lives and careers.

Gossip is a type of verbal terrorism. "To destroy somebody's good name is to commit a kind of murder," says Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, author of several books, including Words That Hurt, Words That Heal.

What is gossip?

Gossip is anything negative you say about someone to someone else -- whether the information is true or false. Some people, however, believe it's OK to talk about others if what they say is true. While it's legal to spread truthful information about someone, it is gossip, and unethical.

Gossip ruins lives

Obviously, gossip causes damage because it can ruin a person's reputation. Spreading rumors about someone else's personal life can lead to the breakup of a marriage and family. Talking negatively about someone's job performance can be devastating to that employee's career.

Why people gossip

Spreading secret information, especially something negative, makes people feel important. It also adds a bit of intrigue to the same old boring workday.

"For most of us, exchanging critical evaluations about others is far more interesting and enjoyable than exchanging good news," explains Rabbi Telushkin.

Another type of gossip -- complaining

This type of gossip happens all the time at work. One employee gets mad at another employee, so the disgruntled person complains to a third party to vent his or her feelings.

This type of office triangle damages companies for the following reasons:

Nothing gets resolved between the two angry employees. A third person becomes involved and must take sides. Pretty soon the entire office gets caught up in an undercurrent of damaging gossip, with everyone choosing sides. The resulting tension lowers office morale and affects employee productivity.

What you can do about office gossip

If you're the target of gossip, or if office gossip is a general problem, ask your supervisor to create an office policy on it. Management should announce the policy at a staff meeting or in a written directive all employees must sign. These are issues the policy should spell out:

• Gossip about anyone's personal life or work life is unacceptable.

• If two employees can't resolve a problem between themselves, they should each write down the problem and possible solutions and submit it to their supervisor. The supervisor can then meet with the two employees and help resolve the problem.

• An employee upset with a supervisor should talk directly with the supervisor and not with anyone else.

• Employees who violate the rules will suffer consequences, which should be clearly noted.

What if you've done it

Notice how often your talk unintentionally drifts toward discussion of other people. Next, notice how often you're a willing recipient of gossip. If you listen to gossip, you're guilty, as well. A listener must complete the gossip connection.

"If you have publicly said something cruel and regret it, call the victim of your remarks immediately and apologize," advises Rabbi Telushkin. "Gossip spreads like wildfire, and you have no control over which direction it heads or how much damage it leaves in its path."